pics

Late thoughts

I really don’t even know where to begin. My whole purpose in life is supposed to be about my relationship with a living god. Now there’s an interesting idea. A LIVING God. I think deep down we all recognize some innate being that we want to relate to or know about. Most of us who have experienced something like that have decided for ourselves what we think that is. With all the research and logic behind what we decide it is, I guess that it’s mostly based on experientialism. What I mean is the idea that I’ve experienced it and therefore it exists for me. Even though I do believe that as a Christian you don’t have to believe blindly, but at the end of the day it seems that doing just that is an important part of faith. But back to my original statement – my whole purpose in existence should be about somebody else, but I’m desperately trying to make it about me, my life, my desires, my dreams, you name it. And, after all of that being said I would also have to add that doing that has left me very empty. I guess my personal hurdle that I can’t seem to figure out how to break has been laziness. Typical I guess. Obviously the answer that most Christians would answer to “how do I break this cycle?” would be to ask God for help, change, a desire etc. And, for me I do believe I need to do that. I guess it’s an attempt to find a balance between my work and the miraculous intervention of the Holy Spirit.

Well, I really want to play music. I love it. It’s hard. I’m going to bed.

Engagement

Well folks.... I'm engaged to be married. Her name is Lindsay Merrill. I'll try to put some pics up of the ring and my sweet bride to be.

Jay

Workkkkkkkkkkkk

My schedule is so odd - Sometimes I work 8a.m. til 1p.m. and then sometimes I work 5p.m. until 9p.m.

I'm at work sitting at the sound booth with Chris - he and I work together. It's traditional orchestra rehearsal tonight. My last post the other day was about possibly moving back to Little Rock - I may be an assistant golf professional for my dad. Not really the same as pursuing a career as a full time musician - it's kind of disappointing - but I still haven't decided for sure.

I'm trying to figure those things out. I'd like to keep playing music - but nothing has really come up lately. I guess I might have to stick it out and wait a little longer before throwing in the towel, but it's really difficult doing Sunday morning gigs all the time with different people at different places.

As of about two months ago - I quit playing for Bruce Clinton. Right now I just play for Matt Browuer and other churches.

My job pays well - but it sucks - crappy hours - no benefits - no OVERTIME!!!!! - I would say more but I would get into trouble.

Anyways

see ya

Jay

Aghhhhhh

I may move back to arkansas and work for my dad - giving up playing music full time - ha - that's an oxymoron "full-time musician".

Check out mattbrouwer.com

i tracked the b-sides album - i'm on
here i am again
tis so sweet
all i want
it is well

if anybody still reads this - awesome

love ya

Jay

Vacation Bible School

Treasure hunting adventures galor!!!!! Is that how you spell galor?

Is there anyone who still reads this thing?

- Jay

U.S. Military into Iran?

So - I'm always blogging about myself so I decided to talk about something else.

Most people by now have been hearing rumors about Iran and their attempt to enrich uranium for use in possible nuclear weapons. The UN deadline is soon or already passed and now that the U.S. is in Iraq we have troops on both sides of the Iranian border. This is just an observation, but that seems really scary to me. Iran is not little and their military is much larger and much more organized.

I also happened to see "united 93". Which made me angry. I also thought during that movie about the idea of redemptive violence. For instance - how would Jesus tell us to deal with terrorists on a suicide hijacked plane. That may be a stupid road to go down, but it still made me think. Would he be pleased if I was to hurt one of them? and possibly save the lives of others?

Sick Again

I'm always sick.

I'm moving into a new house.

I'm going to be paying $67 in rent instead of $160

I will still have a pool, but I'll have my own bathroom and a real room.

Hooray

Abilene - I forgot what West Texas is almost like

Well - I'm in Abilene Texas with Matt Brouwer. We are currently leading worship for some kind of Nazerene Youth sports camp type of sorts. Yippy

As most of you know or have heard; I am dating a girl named Lindsay Merrill. She is great. I could describe her to you in detail, but it really isn't worth it. Just know she is amazing and I am lucky to be with her.

West Texas - I do believe we are directly above San Antonio. So, we aren't completely in west Texas, but we are pretty close. Not to take anything away from where my parents are from, but wow it is dreary, dry, and grey.

I am ready to get back.

Our church is building a recording studio and I am getting excited. It should be really cool.

Lataz

J

Another week another sunday

Not a lot going on in my world recently. Still working at a not-so exciting job, but still a great job. I am slowly learning some valuable things. Two days ago I learned how to solder. It was a great experience. Hopefully I can get my photoshop/illustrator/indesign skills back up to par.

I have realized how much easier my life would be with a trailer. I would really like a Pace American "journey". It is a really small trailer but costs about $3,000. I just don't have the money. It would be amazing if I had one. I am currently tearing up the inside of my blazer in order to haul my drums around.

My friend Jacob returned home a couple of days ago from tour with Chris Tomlin. Meeting Jacob has been such a blessing. He is such a genuine friend and has allowed me to meet some great people. I still haven't found an artist that is touring or asking me to play full time. I know that playing full time for someone is a little far fetched, but I am still hoping.

Matt Brouwer has asked me to play a couple of dates with him this next week. He is doing two outdoor concerts that are being sponsored by KSBJ - which is a local Christian radio station.

Well - it is official - I am horrible at foosball. I am yet to beat my girlfriend (Lindsay) - and she now refuses to play with me because I am such an unpleasant loser. She says I am ungraceful.

I will admit - I am a horrible loser.

Where are you Grove?

Well - after being here for about nine months it is official.

The Grove Church is amazing and I miss it a lot.

As I was roaming my itunes as I usually do at some point during each week, I thought to myself; "I wonder what the Grove church is up to." And so, I went to the Grove's website to see what was going on and to my amazement - I discovered that the Grove is podcasting!!!! So, you guys should let Kent know that I am listening to his talks online and that I wouldn't have made fun of him about his gap shirt still having the sticker attached to it - back on the 2ncd of January.

I really miss all of you guys a lot. I miss my community group - Someone tell Roger that he is great and I want to see him soon. Jason Miller and I will be getting together for a conference during April in Waco so that will be cool.

As far as music goes - I am playing for Matt Brouwer and Bruce Clinton on Sunday mornings. I'm doing a little bit of recording for a few other people. I have gotten to play with some really great players down here and as I wrote up my resume I realized how lucky I have been.

For instance:

Bass players I have played with:(if you haven't heard of these bands then go check them out!)

1. Jacob Lisenbe - Currently touring with Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman
2. Russell Wedelich - matt brouwer
3. Ryan Owens - Robbie Seay Band
4. James Colvin - Inhabited
5. Travis Brockway - Waterdeep

By the way - none of these guys hold anything to CHRIS TUCKER

Basically - these guys are really really good - I am so lucky

Go say hello to Jacob when they play in Fayetteville this weekend the 12th - he and I were planning to get an apartment together. He will be playing bass for tomlin and redman.

Lata

Pictures from X-mas Eve Service

These are some pictures that our bass player's wife took durig our xmas eve service.

Weird

I found two of my three bibles today! Praise the Lord.

And to follow a previous post since I realized I hadn't said anything in a while.

The girl I supposedly took on a date didn't know it was a date and told me had she known she would have said no.

I am reverting back to my previous statement that girls are ridiculous.








.....................ridiculous

The Explanation

I wanted to at least say a little bit about my most recent ventures.

I went on my first date of 2005 (maybe I shouldn't admit that) a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Abby. She is very sweet, intelligent, and a lot of fun to hang out with/ not to mention very pretty. We went to a restaraunt called Cheesecake Factory.

In this last adventure I have come to realize a couple of things. For one - Only now can I say that most girls are right to assume that most guys are lazy/crazy because they usually don't ever muster the courage to ask anyone out. And secondly, that given the chance, girls will usually let guys know how they feel if they will simply be patient enough.

Even though my last date was a one time thing, I appreciated her willingness to give me a chance, and also to say no when she could have avoided it.

I think that I am simply too impatient. What I mean is that - I expect the answers far too quickly.

Anyways - despite my previous posts - my hat is off to her.

And if you are reading this abby - I hope I am not embarrassing you. You are great.

I think Brett was right

Girls are ok.........sometimes.......when they aren't being themselves............ok just kidding.


I think I will have my first visitor from Fayetteville here today. If so then I will post a picture.

Cool

later

Sore throats and J.R. Cash

I saw the movie "Walk the Line" last week and enjoyed it. I didn't think it was the best movie I had ever seen, but I thought it was good.

My throat is sore but I'm not necessarily sick. I feel like I haven't talked to God in months. I am finding it hard to get into the word. If you get a chance, could you please pray for me. I need to get focused or have some alone time with the Lord.

I've been very downcast lately and think it is stemming from a lack of spiritual feeding.

Anyways, maybe I will talk to some of you soon.

A question for girls

My question is this:

If you (a girl) are not interested in a guy and he asks you to go out - do you do the following:

1. Give him an excuse why you can't go out with him. The excuse can be anything - from "sorry, I already have plans" to something more specific.
2. Tell him "no thanks" straight up or that you aren't interested
3. Not call him back when he calls and leaves messages or avoid talking to/ ignore him.

I would like to know.

Thanks

Bla

I haven't written anything in a while so I thought I would say something.

I'm really tired - I've been writing new songs - recording new stuff - figuring out what I am going to do with drumming and other stuff as well.

I'm still thinking a whole lot about the church and our leadership and stuff. I had the opportunity to talk to quite a few people and am still figuring things out. I'd like to go into more detail but it's really just pointless and most people already have their own opinions about this sort of thing. But, all I will say is I am searching for answers out of scripture - I don't really want any ONE person's take - I want their "take" on what they have read from scripture.

girls are such a mess by the way - I don't even want to talk about it.

lata

Something New

So... We had staff meeting today and our church has hired a new pastor. She will be joining our teaching pastors soon and needless to say I am uneasy and without peace.

I am confused as to what to do. It is obvious there are two different schools of thought as to how church leadership and positions concerning deacons and elders should be. I will admit that I am not a greek scholar or a seminary graduate but have read the bible and am trying to figure out what it is that is important.

I'm trying to understand the reasons behind certain passages. It's hard because I know I will take a lot of heat from my friends down here if I leave. But, I also know that I must do what is right. I'm not condemning churches with women pastors or saying that I know better than them, but at some point I must make a decision for myself.

I have been living here since the end of May - so about five or so months. I finally have a job that is steady and am slowly meeting new people to play music with. I don't know what to do if I decide I need to leave.

I have always missed fayetteville - maybe the Grove is where I need to be. I don't know. The other problem I am facing is that arkansas just doesn't have the same pool of artists etc. I feel like I will be giving up on playing music full time if I leave.

I don't know.

David Crowder* and Jeremy Bush

Most of you know who David Crowder is but most of you probably don't know who jeremy bush is.

Well before I get to jeremy I will just say that the Crowder show last night was just as good as it was in Little Rock.

Jeremy is crowder's drummer a.k.a. Bwack - he and I got to chat after the show until everyone in the building except the cleaning crew were gone. The cleaning crew and my friends who were patiently waiting on me. He is a very genuine guy. We talked about a possible "gathering" in Waco at the end of April for guys on jeremy's forum. We discussed a whole lot of aspects about it - as far as what would take place - who would be invited and depending upon numbers - if we could get m-audio, roland, and other product makers like SHURE, propellerhead, or ableton to showcase their products for a lower price.

It was a really cool conversation because nobody in close proximity to me does the same stuff or is into the same stuff and the forum is great but not real-time. Meaning that it's like learning how to ride a bike by reading emails that someone is sending you. Only you can only ask a few questions at a time and as new problems come up you have to ask new questions.

So in other words it takes forever. So we (jeremy and I) want to have a showcase/seminar weekend where guys can figure out what works best for them (keep in mind this whole thing I am talking about concerns programming, live-setup, loops/tracks, and guitars, synths, amps, drums, circuit bending - you name it)

It is really exciting and really cool.

I am now on a VERY SMALL first name basis with crowder and tomlin's drummer. If someone would have told me that six months ago I probably would have laughed and said "well, that WOULD be cool" but anyways.

I'm excited!