Friday, July 08, 2005

Only One True Love?

So after turning 22 and only dating one girl in my whole entire life I began to wonder. In essence I am asking or posing questions to myself concerning love that I thought would have been answered by now. I had always thought that I would have met or been dating the girl I would marry in college. But, that assumption was incorrect. Apart from all the details I want to ask one question. I'm sure it is a question that all of us have asked ourselves. And of course I have my own answer but it's a flawed one at best.

Is there only one person you are supposed to fall in love with?

I would however concede that just because you are supposed to be with a specific person doesn't necessarily mean that you will. - that is my thought anyways

My only example would be adam and eve. God knew that none of the animals would suffice and so, made Eve specifically for adam. He didn't make Eva or Evie and Eve and said "Adam you decide - I don't care" he made Eve - just her. No one else.

I come into contact with a lot of different people and most people tell me that God doesn't care. That he has multiple women you can marry and you can choose whomever.

I don't really think that "that" is the way it is. But, my only example would be Adam and Eve. However, there is a huge thing called "sin" which messes everything up. Because of sin we have divorce and single mothers raising children and whatever else you can think of. So I am willing to concede that my perception or view is flawed and incorrect but it seems so perfect - don't you think? - maybe like a plan - a perfect plan maybe?

But, I also do think that we (people) can mess it up. Maybe in God's divine plan we can be with the person we were supposed to be with while at the same time - not be with the person that we were designed to be with.

I don't know - that sounds like God would be holding out the best that possibly could be - but still I don't know. I guess it's because I haven't found her yet. If "she" even exists at all for me. Maybe we don't really get over our first serious relationship for a long time. Or maybe it's just longer for some people. Or maybe it's just longer for me.

Sometimes I think that I had my one chance with real, authentic, romantic love and that I blew it. - I think that my one shot was not to mess it up completely, but that is exactly what I did. And now she's gone.

Well - this could possibly be an area for further discussion. So for all two or three of you who read my blog - give me some feedback.

Shauna - You usually comment - so feel free - tell me what you and stu think.

3 comments:

Shelli said...

Shaunas in Tobago right now...so allow the Shell-dawg to hop on in:

Wow, what a question...and what an answer I have for you. Now, hold on to your seat, its pretty stinkin' stereotypical: ONLY GOD KNOWS THE ANSWER TO THIS GREAT MYSTERY!!!

I can say that I "knew" that Justin was the "one" in highschool...but then he went off and freakin' married someone else. So it took a long hard divorce for him and our friendship to be rekindled in order for us to be together now. Now...was that Gods plan all along? Or was that God leaving our romantic hearts up to our own freewill??? Who stinkin' knows. All I know is that we are together now...and we STRONGLY believe that this was Gods will all along...we just went about it a really weird way.

I think that people, especially girls, get WAY too caught up in this subject, and end up being massively broken hearted.

What about the great men in the bible that had multiple wives??? What the heck was God doing there?

Welcome to the time in your life that sucks...but is also EXTREMELY awesome. Your a college grad with no one committed to you except Christ, family and friends. I encourage you to do what I did in this time of my life.

HAVE A FREAKIN' BLAST! GOSH!

Shelli J!

David said...

Man Jay... I like you dude. You're a really cool guy. I wish you still lived up here. But, I'll just to keep up with you by reading your blog.

I especially liked this post. I've been struggling with the same question. I'm not sure why my answer is yet.

Keep up the playing man. You'll be on stage with Giglio some day...

shauna said...

Stu and I are back from T&T. Check my blog for pics and stories.

In response to your blog, I can only speak for myself. You'll have to ask Stu sometime on the phone what his thoughts are.
You may not like my answer. Because to most of your questions, my answer is, "I don't know."

I agree with Shelli that girls put their hearts on the line TOO OFTEN.
And I think men get heartbroken too, because they wait for the "right one", then take a BIG RISK, and then maybe it doesn't work out afterall, and often get heartbroken that way.
I think it's safe to say girls take frequent risks, and guys take rare risks but when guys do it's HUGE risks. Both get hurt.

I decided early on that I would be with Stu. It took Stu awhile to come around. I was far more emotionally involved at the beginning than he was.
With Stu and I it's been both ecstasy and hell. Unfortunately that's life. We can't have color without black. What matters is what we do about the color and darkness in our lives. How will we make it work? How will we grow our love to survive?

I do believe that there are right people and wrong people to be with. As for God's plan, God's choice?? I don't know.
As for one true love? I don't know.
Is there one person we are SUPPOSED to be with? I don't know.
What about people who are widowed and remarry and have just as happy a second marriage?
So many mysteries. Take your time with it. Hash through this stuff. Ask the difficult questions. Most of us don't have the answers to this mystifying issue. But we are still constantly impacted by the joys and trials of love. We cannot fully understand love, yet we know we cannot live without it. It seems that love works on its own schedule and often requires our patience.