An Amazing Week of Camp

Well as most of you know I am playing music for a living. We (the bruce clinton band) just played at Camp WOW in Oklahoma which by the way is in the middle of nowhere. I haven't had a chance to write about his last week and I just got finished sending an enormous email to a girl I barely know that I met at camp and told her about how great camp was for me. She probably thinks I'm crazy know - but anyways.

It has amazed me how God has answered so many prayers and blessed me in my spiritual preparation and my desire to be patient and pride-less. If there is one thing I have been learning and finally seen an improvement in - it has been my attitude while playing music. Some of my best guy friends can attest to that as they all know my attitude can really suck a lot of the time. But of course I won't list who those friends are so they can affirm my admittance... Cough cough (Jason, Brett, Chris, Cass, Roger)

I have finally figured out that I must "leave my pride by my side". The worship machine as I like to call it is a body working together to help lead others to the throne of grace. Musical worship to me - is an outpouring of internal yearning for knowledge, truth, wisdom, and love by means of emotional responses and acknowledgments of who God is, what he has done for you and others and what he is doing and will do.

This last week enabled me to see an actual ministry of music be poured out not only in song but by the way we interacted and shared our hearts with kids, young adults, and adults. It means so much more to people when they know your heart. If people can see your heart then it allows them to feel like they can trust you - it shows them that you aren't afraid to break through the barriers of awkwardness, perception, and short comings. I'm not sure how many people came to know Christ for the first time but I am estimating it was around 25 or 30.

I have also come to experience the blessing of spiritual preparation. Earnestly seeking the Lord's blessing on a service and asking for his hand to guide things is truly honored by God. When you desire to yield to his spirit he does indeed help and allow for it to work. I have experienced it. From a guy who is a pessimist fighting to become and optimist with the lord's help you can trust me on this one.

His spirit engulfed the people at this camp - not just in worship times but throughout the week. It was so refreshing and encouraging to see and hear these things happen despite that past weeks. So for all of you out there who read this (2 or 3 of you) - God is good.


Our God truly is amazing. To him be all the honor, glory, and praise forever. Amen

Prayer is amazing

It is unbelievable to me how much I DON'T pray. I'm not going to go through all the typical junk and jargon of what I do instead of praying or why it is so easy to do other things because we have all heard it a thousand times. But, when I read the scriptures the one thing that has been standing out to me is how much Godly men prayed. Jesus prayed all the time. It was the connection or comuunication of God to us and us to God. Pray for me please and pray all the time. Call me and ask if I am praying... please.. pray.. pray

Only One True Love?

So after turning 22 and only dating one girl in my whole entire life I began to wonder. In essence I am asking or posing questions to myself concerning love that I thought would have been answered by now. I had always thought that I would have met or been dating the girl I would marry in college. But, that assumption was incorrect. Apart from all the details I want to ask one question. I'm sure it is a question that all of us have asked ourselves. And of course I have my own answer but it's a flawed one at best.

Is there only one person you are supposed to fall in love with?

I would however concede that just because you are supposed to be with a specific person doesn't necessarily mean that you will. - that is my thought anyways

My only example would be adam and eve. God knew that none of the animals would suffice and so, made Eve specifically for adam. He didn't make Eva or Evie and Eve and said "Adam you decide - I don't care" he made Eve - just her. No one else.

I come into contact with a lot of different people and most people tell me that God doesn't care. That he has multiple women you can marry and you can choose whomever.

I don't really think that "that" is the way it is. But, my only example would be Adam and Eve. However, there is a huge thing called "sin" which messes everything up. Because of sin we have divorce and single mothers raising children and whatever else you can think of. So I am willing to concede that my perception or view is flawed and incorrect but it seems so perfect - don't you think? - maybe like a plan - a perfect plan maybe?

But, I also do think that we (people) can mess it up. Maybe in God's divine plan we can be with the person we were supposed to be with while at the same time - not be with the person that we were designed to be with.

I don't know - that sounds like God would be holding out the best that possibly could be - but still I don't know. I guess it's because I haven't found her yet. If "she" even exists at all for me. Maybe we don't really get over our first serious relationship for a long time. Or maybe it's just longer for some people. Or maybe it's just longer for me.

Sometimes I think that I had my one chance with real, authentic, romantic love and that I blew it. - I think that my one shot was not to mess it up completely, but that is exactly what I did. And now she's gone.

Well - this could possibly be an area for further discussion. So for all two or three of you who read my blog - give me some feedback.

Shauna - You usually comment - so feel free - tell me what you and stu think.

Questions, Questions, Questions

So after many days thinking about different topics - I have come up with a list of questions(not too long) that I need to ask myself and others to find the opinion of the Lord that has somehow been kept from my understanding. Please feel free to answer these questions.

1. If my theology is wrong - do I believe in a God that is wrong? or If my theology is flawed - then do I believe in a flawed God or potentially a God that cannot save me?

2. If I serve in a certain church - be it Methodist, Baptist, Presb., Bible, non-denom., Anglican - does that mean that I have to adopt their beliefs? or does that mean that I endorse what they believe and agree that it is truth?

3. Does God want me to be deeply concerned with my own theology or his theology? -

4. Should my theology determine where I go to church?

CHANGING GEARS NOW

In our generation/s worship music has become more and more prevalent. It is also taking on an avenue for business.

1. For a church/camp/event - what is the benefit of hiring a band, (that has no connection with that specific group of people) - for leading worship? and if the answer is simply for the hope of a better worship experience - then I am in the wrong profession - so please don't say that

2. If I should be based at a church or have a HOME CHURCH - then how does it make sense for me to travel all the time and play music for a living? - which is what I desire to do.

3. Is their only one avenue for honoring God in music or are there multiple? here are the choices A. play at church and serve in the worship band of your home church and your home church only - B. be in a completely secular band or C. be in a worship band that maybe plays at your home church or maybe not and also plays for anything else they can get their hands on - or finally - D. it doesn't matter -

4. Does it please God to make money for leading worship?

- I would love to hear feedback - Tell your friends

Difficult weeks mixed with mixed feelings

To say the least, I'm confused, bored, anxious, tired, frustrated and bored. Oh yeah and I'm bored. For those of you who "really" know me or have been with me when there aren't a lot of people around, you can tell right away if something is wrong. So here is the scenario...

I moved here (The Woodlands) about four weeks ago? or maybe five? I am living with Jason Miller's parents (who rock by the way), and playing drums at The United Methodist Church of The Woodlands which everyone around here refers to as "The Methidome". HaHa..(sarcastically)

Like I said before... those of you who "really" know me and know what I believe also will acknowledge that I am not a methodist. So right off the bat there is this barrier of theology which does in fact come out in the sermons - all you have to do is listen carefully and you hear it - a little tid bit there and an interjection here.

After a long practice on Saturday night I realized that I hadn't even thought about why we were rehersing or what our purpose was. It's as if I was preparing a meal for no one to eat. (that's a horrible analogy but you get the picture) I felt so empty and low.

There is such an atmoshpere of Christian celebrity today and I believe it is much more prevalent here then back home and I hate it. It makes me sick. The way I talk about the music with other musicians and what actually goes on when we rehearse or work on new songs makes me feel like I talk about worhsip music like it's a business. I really feel as if God is displeased with it all and I am stuck in the middle. I feel more responsible because I acknowledge that it exists yet it doesn't change within me.

Basically for any of you who are still reading this - I am asking for prayer. I want to know what I am made to do. Most all of you know I desire to play music but not if it will be like this. I want to play music but I just don't think I can play the worship music/ christian celebrity game anymore. Now, I am not trying to knock on Christian worship music or any other bands... I am specifically talking about my own personal experience.

Well I'm sure this has been pretty negative for most of you (all two or three that read this thing), but rest assured I know God is teaching me things and waiting for the right time to reveal his next step in the ultimate walk with him in my life.

Please pray for me and if you get the chance give me a call because I do absolutey nothing all day. I am hoping to change that with a job that starts a week from tomorrow. (Monday)

Getting Adjusted

Hello all

I haven't gotten to talk to a lot of people from home since I moved. I am hoping to start working in the media department of the church in a week or so. I have played twice (the last two sundays) the first sunday was with matt brouwer his website is www.mattbro.com and then I played for Bruce Clinton this morning. It has been a difficult four weeks for me. The second week I was in town I sprained my ankle and it was pretty awful. I tore a tendon in the top of my foot and had to wear a boot/cast for about two weeks. To make matters worse my insurance was also messed up so I had to fly back to Little Rock to get it taken care of. The whole ordeal was pretty frustrating but it all worked out and is beginning to heal. I hope my friends who read this will pray for me because I need it. I have been really anxious to start something and feel like something is going to happen soon I just haven't figured out what it is. I still am having trouble meeting people. It seems like a meet one more person every week and get to know them enough to feel comfortable calling them. Anyways please pray that I find a band or singer to play with full time. I have also been writing songs (which is something I have been doing but not succesfully). However, most of the musicians I have played them for really liked them and we actually got a band together and worked on one of them and it is turning out pretty well. Dont' be afraid to give me a call - believe me I'm not busy right now. Thanks for everyone who has been praying for me.

-Jay-

Well.....it's almost time.

I'm not even sure if any of my friends check their blogs regularly or if they even know about mine, but I felt compelled to write something tonight.

I am leaving to make life in a new place this week. This new place is a long ways away from what I am used to. Not just what I am used to physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. I guess that is why i am so down right now. I am going to a place where I know as many people as I have fingers while leaving behind everything and everyone who has meant a lot to me. I feel as though God has been preparing things for me in an order that will eventually work out. Most of you who know me understand that I desire to play music full-time on the road. What I am currently going to do is far from that. I will have to depend on another job for my income and when I say income I should say pocket change instead. I will be going from a state of complete dependence on my family for financial support to mainly on my own. The sad thing about all of it is that until I can get another job my parents still have to support me. Well, in all honesty they don't "have" to, but they are. (I don't know why)

Anyways, I need prayer. So please feel free.

-Jay

Could all of you tell your friends that know me?

I was wondering if you guys that know me could tell your friends that know me... that i have a blog...... uh yeah... cool.

-Jay

The first one!!!

I really hope people will "Blog" and keep in touch with me. This way all of my friends can talk to me while I'm away. So blog away guys!