Pictures from X-mas Eve Service

These are some pictures that our bass player's wife took durig our xmas eve service.

Weird

I found two of my three bibles today! Praise the Lord.

And to follow a previous post since I realized I hadn't said anything in a while.

The girl I supposedly took on a date didn't know it was a date and told me had she known she would have said no.

I am reverting back to my previous statement that girls are ridiculous.








.....................ridiculous

The Explanation

I wanted to at least say a little bit about my most recent ventures.

I went on my first date of 2005 (maybe I shouldn't admit that) a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Abby. She is very sweet, intelligent, and a lot of fun to hang out with/ not to mention very pretty. We went to a restaraunt called Cheesecake Factory.

In this last adventure I have come to realize a couple of things. For one - Only now can I say that most girls are right to assume that most guys are lazy/crazy because they usually don't ever muster the courage to ask anyone out. And secondly, that given the chance, girls will usually let guys know how they feel if they will simply be patient enough.

Even though my last date was a one time thing, I appreciated her willingness to give me a chance, and also to say no when she could have avoided it.

I think that I am simply too impatient. What I mean is that - I expect the answers far too quickly.

Anyways - despite my previous posts - my hat is off to her.

And if you are reading this abby - I hope I am not embarrassing you. You are great.

I think Brett was right

Girls are ok.........sometimes.......when they aren't being themselves............ok just kidding.


I think I will have my first visitor from Fayetteville here today. If so then I will post a picture.

Cool

later

Sore throats and J.R. Cash

I saw the movie "Walk the Line" last week and enjoyed it. I didn't think it was the best movie I had ever seen, but I thought it was good.

My throat is sore but I'm not necessarily sick. I feel like I haven't talked to God in months. I am finding it hard to get into the word. If you get a chance, could you please pray for me. I need to get focused or have some alone time with the Lord.

I've been very downcast lately and think it is stemming from a lack of spiritual feeding.

Anyways, maybe I will talk to some of you soon.

A question for girls

My question is this:

If you (a girl) are not interested in a guy and he asks you to go out - do you do the following:

1. Give him an excuse why you can't go out with him. The excuse can be anything - from "sorry, I already have plans" to something more specific.
2. Tell him "no thanks" straight up or that you aren't interested
3. Not call him back when he calls and leaves messages or avoid talking to/ ignore him.

I would like to know.

Thanks

Bla

I haven't written anything in a while so I thought I would say something.

I'm really tired - I've been writing new songs - recording new stuff - figuring out what I am going to do with drumming and other stuff as well.

I'm still thinking a whole lot about the church and our leadership and stuff. I had the opportunity to talk to quite a few people and am still figuring things out. I'd like to go into more detail but it's really just pointless and most people already have their own opinions about this sort of thing. But, all I will say is I am searching for answers out of scripture - I don't really want any ONE person's take - I want their "take" on what they have read from scripture.

girls are such a mess by the way - I don't even want to talk about it.

lata

Something New

So... We had staff meeting today and our church has hired a new pastor. She will be joining our teaching pastors soon and needless to say I am uneasy and without peace.

I am confused as to what to do. It is obvious there are two different schools of thought as to how church leadership and positions concerning deacons and elders should be. I will admit that I am not a greek scholar or a seminary graduate but have read the bible and am trying to figure out what it is that is important.

I'm trying to understand the reasons behind certain passages. It's hard because I know I will take a lot of heat from my friends down here if I leave. But, I also know that I must do what is right. I'm not condemning churches with women pastors or saying that I know better than them, but at some point I must make a decision for myself.

I have been living here since the end of May - so about five or so months. I finally have a job that is steady and am slowly meeting new people to play music with. I don't know what to do if I decide I need to leave.

I have always missed fayetteville - maybe the Grove is where I need to be. I don't know. The other problem I am facing is that arkansas just doesn't have the same pool of artists etc. I feel like I will be giving up on playing music full time if I leave.

I don't know.

David Crowder* and Jeremy Bush

Most of you know who David Crowder is but most of you probably don't know who jeremy bush is.

Well before I get to jeremy I will just say that the Crowder show last night was just as good as it was in Little Rock.

Jeremy is crowder's drummer a.k.a. Bwack - he and I got to chat after the show until everyone in the building except the cleaning crew were gone. The cleaning crew and my friends who were patiently waiting on me. He is a very genuine guy. We talked about a possible "gathering" in Waco at the end of April for guys on jeremy's forum. We discussed a whole lot of aspects about it - as far as what would take place - who would be invited and depending upon numbers - if we could get m-audio, roland, and other product makers like SHURE, propellerhead, or ableton to showcase their products for a lower price.

It was a really cool conversation because nobody in close proximity to me does the same stuff or is into the same stuff and the forum is great but not real-time. Meaning that it's like learning how to ride a bike by reading emails that someone is sending you. Only you can only ask a few questions at a time and as new problems come up you have to ask new questions.

So in other words it takes forever. So we (jeremy and I) want to have a showcase/seminar weekend where guys can figure out what works best for them (keep in mind this whole thing I am talking about concerns programming, live-setup, loops/tracks, and guitars, synths, amps, drums, circuit bending - you name it)

It is really exciting and really cool.

I am now on a VERY SMALL first name basis with crowder and tomlin's drummer. If someone would have told me that six months ago I probably would have laughed and said "well, that WOULD be cool" but anyways.

I'm excited!

U2 Tickets!! and Playing WIth Matt This morning

So I just got home from playing at church this morning and had a realization.

I realized t hat I have tickets to U2 next friday.

On another note we played a song called "I shall believe" which I think was first written by Sheryl Crow and then Matt Brouwer (who I played with this morning) re-did it on his latest album "unlearning" which is being played regularly on Christian radio in Houston and in California. It has been one of the most requested songs on Christian radio and it was just cool to get to play it with him. In fact - the first time that particular song was played on the radio - I was in the car with him and we both tuned in together. That may seem cheasy but I thought it was cool considering I am nobody and he is somebody in Christian music.

Anyways - hope everyone is well.

- Jay

Elizabeth Town and a Girl From Texas - More Than I Could Have Expected or Guessed From Both

I usually always start my posts with the word "so". So, I saw Elizabeth town which I believe received mixed reviews - I for one am not a fan of poorly done movies with cheesy acting BUT this particular movie - wins my "movie of the year" award. The soundtrack alone was amazing - I bought it off of itunes as soon as I got home. I think my favorite song is "My father's gun" by Sir Elton. Most of my friends know that I love movies and I was pleasantly surprised with this one. I usually keep very low expectations for movies - that way the chances are smaller that I will be horribly let down.

So apart from the movie - I am playing music tomorrow at some bar-b-q thing and then rehearsing afterwards with another guy named matt brouwer www.mattbro.com and then playing at church on Sunday with matt.

I am also in the process of getting a press-kit together to market myself for a possible audition with a girl power pop rock band called EVERLIFE. That is a whole other blog.

Now to what I really wanted to talk about. For some of you - you may not care to read this part for you may get to the end and be like "what? or so what? or what next? or who cares?" but anyways

So there was this girl I happen to catch a glimpse of during a women's bible study at my church. She appeared to be my age and I thought to myself "Hey, there's a girl that looks my age and apparently spends her time at bible study." So for whatever reason I decided I would meet her. How I would meet her was still a question. So I asked the nice lady who I had gotten to know slightly through working at this bible study who she was and that I had noticed she was my age. - I was pretty much a dead give away - Hopefully this particular girl won't read this - but if she does then HEY! THERE _ I hope you aren't embarrassed. She really won't read this though.

So then I met another girl at the church that actually roomed with her in college. I also made the mistake of mentioning the fact that I had a slight desire to meet this girl in hearing distance of my boss John who loves to tell everyone everything. So all of the ladies at the bible study knew that I wanted to meet this girl. I also found out that pretty much everyone who worked at the church knew as well and all felt it necessary to give me a hard time about it.

Ok - I'm skipping now because I am tired - so I met her finally and that was great - the next step was to get to know her - skip skip skip skip bla bla bla - A group of us go to the movies - she is there - She comes over to the house after the movie with friends

She DOESN'T even give me THE TIME OF DAY!!!

I felt awesome.

That has been the most recent occurrence in the life of Jay.

She wouldn't even let me talk to her enough to even get the chance to say "hey you wanna go get some coffee some time???" oh no my friends - it was more like

GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!! in silence

So to say the least - after seeing a movie like Elizabeth town - I wanted to go cry in a corner -

Not really.....................But seriously

Cool things, Gigs, and being sick (yuck)

First of all - I apologize for any fellow musicians/worship leaders that are offended by me using the term (gig). Anyways, I have been (booked) - if you will- to play close to 20 dates between now and Mid-December and hopefully will get a lot more than that. So that is a plus - BUT I'M SICK!!!!

On another note - I am doing this "cleanse" where I can only eat fruits, Veggies, water, green tea, fish, rice milk, some bread and cereal and it's all ORGANIC and very very EXPENSIVE. The cleanse are just these pills you take in the morning and at night - the detoxifying has made me feel like crap for the last two days but I am starting to feel better today. But I'm still sick - I hate being sick.

This is a side story - I was driving with Matt brouwer to play retreat for our church (sixth graders!! yea!!) this last weekend and a cover on his new album unlearning that was originally written by Sheryl Crow called "I shall believe" played for the first time on KSBJ in houston which is supposed to be the largest Christian radio network in the U.S. It was a cool moment - he also made number 1 for the station's Tuesday night takeover which was pretty cool. I thought to myself "hey I play with this guy sometimes.... cool".

Anyways I don't think I have left anything off.

Oh wait - we got a 62" inch hitachi big screen for free two days ago _ HOW SWEET IS THAT - I'll put up a picture!!!

Lataz

J

Sarah Mclachlan Is amazing

I don't know why I never got into her. I just bought "mirror ball" off of itunes and matt (brouwer) let me borrow his dvd of mirror ball - her husband/drummer is amazing - he is my new inspiration for practice, style, and groove. I am gettting to play a lot more music now. It has been a good few weeks. This weekend I am playing today and tomorrow with Matt Brouwer and then leading worship on Sunday with him. I am also sitting in for a band called "spoken for" - I am also getting some gigs with this guy named Justin Johnston - he is really talented. And then I am also getting to play with another worship leader I met named John Cordes from Katy. I am still hoping to get to play with Lauren James she has some great material and a lot of potential to do something amazing so I am hoping that I might get an audition. I talked to her guitar player the other day (david howard) and he had said that she had metioned something so we'll see.......

I am playing a lot more now - but it's amazing to me - i don't seem to have much money. Go figure.

I hope everyone is well.

Late nights and emotions

Well over the past few days I have been thinking a lot. I witnessed to a guy last night that I have met through mutual friends. He is agnostic at most and doesn't believe or understand the bible. He doesn't understand life's purpose. It was a great conversation about the fundamental questions of life. I tried to lead him in an understanding of God's foremost goal in himself which is to glorify himself. He has a typical perspective of God being an angry kid with a magnifying glass over an ant hill. I tried to tell him that he does in fact have a soul and I believe that God is knawing at his heart in order to lead him to God's truth. I know that there is nothing I have to offer him other than love and understanding that I have through God's revelation of truth to me. I told him I thought he was in a good position in order to seek out the truth that I told him God wants him to know. Other than that would like for you all to pray for him and me.

I am really struggling with a loneliness that is different from what I have experienced in the past. It has nothing to do with being around other people. But, it is a loneliness of not having friends who have the same filter. By filter I mean the way that people view Christianity and God. I really hope I find a wife and find her soon. I only pray that God will prepare me and give me patience.

I am desperately longing for an intimate relationship with God not just communion but a real working relationship that isn't just what I do - basically I desire a two way relationship and not just a one way. I know that God is speaking to me and has something in store for me I just don't know what it is. I honestly desire to please him but have trouble looking past my own sin.

I really miss fayetteville and my friends that know me well. But, I know my purpose is to be here and so I am content in knowing that. I think I have been missing a love that God longs to show me and work out through me. I don't know how to let him in to my heart. I pray and pray but not as much as I should. I want to "tap" into what I think I'm missing but don't know how.

Please pray for me.

My room and me

This is me staring at my desk with my new favorite shirt. And up above is my messy room - which looks cooler now than when I took that picture.

Solitaire and "That Thing You Do"

I would just like to say that "That Thing You Do" is one my favorite movies - I watch it at least once a week and I love "Lenny". I wacthed it tonight as I played solitaire after work. If I can figure out how to post pictures I will show you guys my room and myself with my new favorite T-shirt.

My room is great and ghetto all at the same time - just picture an arch-way that is covered by a make-shift plywood wall covered with what looks like a red and white striped table cloth that looks like something your Grandma would have brought out for Sunday picnics. Not only that, but the make-shift wall doesn't completely cover all of the "holes" - so - I have a grey blanket on top and an ugly white towel hanging by bullentin board tacks from the wall - Oh yeah and by the way - the walls are wood panneling "YEAH!" - I do however have a piano and a fireplace - a fireplace in Houston - isn't that an oxymoron?

I acquired a grey and black rug that I have grown fond of - my drum kit is in the middle of the room and my twin bed is shoved over in the corner - where earlier last month I found a roach in my bed just chillin - I hate bugs. Oh I almost forgot - I have a ceiling fan that hangs down from my vaulted ceiling - but it doesn't work. There are also five tall windows that are all covered with bed sheets (kind of trashy but kind of cool).

This is really cool - I bought a new loop program today and am really excited - soon I'll be really makin some cool stuff.

that's all I have to say tonight -

if anybody can tell me how to publish photos or whatever - I'm "all ears".

My days are all messed up

It happens without notice. One minute it's 11:00 p.m. and I'm wondering what I have to do in the morning and the next minute it's 3:00 a.m. I'm on my blog thinking about the day or lack of a day since I more than likely got up at 12:00 p.m. Anyways, I'm up right now because my roomate who has the room right next to mine has a girl over and they are being loud - a long story short - I'm a light sleeper and don't really go to bed unless everyone is being respectable or already asleep. I guess that is why I stay up late most of the time.

I would write more but I am starting to get irritated. I usually internalize but have realized that there is a better solution - so - I think I am either going to say something for the second time or just try to drown out the noise with a fan or something.

It's really late and I just watched Mr. Hollands Opus

Wow - what a great movie. I don't remember if that movie was based on a true story or not. It sure would be a great story if it were true. Instead of researching that - I am just going to leave it unknown - that way it feels better to me.

The last two nights have probably been the busiest for me as far as hanging out with friends/people I know goes. I have actually been meeting some new people here and there but in all honesty - it still is difficult because most of my good friends are in Fayetteville. I understand that what I "want" to do has a harder time coming true in an area like Fayetteville rather than Houston. But living here feels weird - not wrong or sinful or bad - but just weird. I know that it takes time to get used to living in a new place and that new surroundings are always unpredictable - but when it's late, I'm hungry, and just watched an emotional movie - I can't help but say the only words that come to mind at 3:38 a.m. here - "this sucks".

Lonely is usually a very specific term - in this case I am going to use it rather fluidly. The loneliness I feel I am encountering comes on a "like-minded spiritual level". I hung out with a friend of mine "chris stephens" and his girlfriend the other day and the next day before he went back to Fayetteville - it was probably the best time I've had since I have lived here. The reason was - we had a lot of things to talk about - we saw life through the same filter (what we believe about God and how he works with us and in us and his relationship with us and how Christ and his work all relate) spiritual truth.

Now, don't get me wrong - I live with Christians - my friends are Christians - but I'm not really good friends with the newer people I have met - and the three guys I know the most don't believe the same things about God and one of them just flat out doesn't care. I'm not saying that everyday has to be a theology forum - I'm just simply saying that my closest friends here view life completely different - or not at all in some cases it seems. I am of the opinion that Christ was a very earnest man, very thought oriented and concerned with things that I at times would consider to be "insignificant". I don't want to be a care-free Christian.

I believe apathy is a disease that is killing our generation - a laziness that is as easy as breathing. The one thing that I know is that - through my friends I believe God is speaking to me. I have always wondered what it is that God has made me for. I have come to believe that it is to help people tear away their apathy - and help them understand what authenticity is all about. But, I don't know how specifically or when or where persay.

I hate this idea of the Christian-American Dream. I can guarantee we (American's/Christians) have at some point bought into it. A life that has no calling other than - getting married to the person of "our" dreams - living in a not too big of a house, but a big house, maybe an expensive car - maybe not - enough money to take a trip every once in a while - kids and never having to actually pick up and go do something on faith. I know that I have thought about that - whether it's a conscious or subconscious thing - I guarantee that is the attitude of many of our parents and especially young people. Not to take away from people like my buddy Brian who went to China and others like him that aren't afraid to live by faith. But there are a lot of us out there that are starved of spiritual truth because we are too afraid to see what God will do with us and we don't even have the faith to believe that what he wants to do with us is for our good.

Thoughts on being a musician and SINGLE in a place where girls my age and SINGLE - DO NOT ABOUND!!

So - I have always known that there was a big difference between being a musician and being "oh you mean that guy that plays sometimes at whatever" - even if people think you are good. This is not something revolutionary or new at all. Most people would most likely agree. The more I play with other musicians and players - the more I desire to become a more well-rounded musician. It's an obvious benefit to know as much as you can and to be able to do more than just one or two things and do them well. So to make my point without rambling - I desire to become a true musician and not just, "that guy who plays drums at the whatever". But, I think that will prove much harder than I really am ready for.

On another note - I have this anxious feeling. I feel like it is only a matter of time until something comes along for me. But, I think that is the "back part of my brain" trying to convert my subconscious into thinking that my dreams will come true. I also have realized something that is kind of scary and previously discussed I think. I seek fame subconsciously for my own glory. I know that it is wrong and am desiring to change that. So if you feel like praying for me - that would be a good area of concern.

OK - so I'm single. I've been single for about the past two years. Most of you who know me well - also know that it has been hard to get over my "first love", which is a completely different post - that has already been discussed.

I would just like to say that - Single women from the ages of 20-24 DO NOT ABOUND in The woodlands Texas. Basically if they are in that age bracket and follow Christ - I already know them.

A long story short - I am praying for a wife and I can't find her. And for all of you people who are married - please don't give me the "she will come at the right time and God will reveal her to you" - I ALREADY KNOW THAT - I'm just impatient or better yet - I'm a GUY.

I know that patience is a virtue and a fruit of the spirit more importantly and that good things come to those who wait and I agree blah, blah, blah, blah - where the heck is she??? I passed my prime a couple of years ago and unless I find the miracle drug that makes me really attractive I'm gonna be in a lot of trouble.

Basically my faith in God's timing is being put to the test - I am praying for my unbelief and my lack of faith. Please pray for that also.

so - SHAUNA - b4 you post about how it will be perfect when God introduces to her (if I am to be married anyways and most importantly) - I just need you to tell me that you and STU will pray for me!!! (if you can't tell by my typing - that section was supposed to be funny)- I love both of you guys and thanks for responding to a lot of my posts.

If you could ask God for one thing - what would it be? ( i asked my father this question when I was about 14 or so)

Opportunities

Many of you who know me also know that one of my biggest interests/dreams/desires has been to play with an artist on the road as a paid musician/drummer. It turns out that I have a legitimate chance at that very thing. The artist is a young girl from Houston named Lauren James - I am probably speaking way too soon so I will also add that it probably won't happen - but you never know - anything could come up. Anyways the guy who has been playing bass with me (Jacob Lisenbe) is going to be playing bass for Lauren on her upcoming tour. To make a long story short - he has told her about me and Jacob's brother who is scheduled to play with her for her overseas dates in Germany and South africa will not be doing the tour with her. So - I might get to do it. I am really anxious and excited - so please pray that Gods will would be worked out. And also pray that I would be patient and totally accepting of the whatever the Lord chooses to put before me.

If you want to check her music out you can listen to it at www.myspace.com/laurenjamesmusic